Jan 10, 2012 Posted by Ricardo Salta in about me | 0 comments

Disappointing Others. Sometimes It Totally Just Sucks.

There’s disappointing and there’s disappointing. We have no responsibility about other people’s expectations of ourselves that they created by themselves. To go anywhere in life we have to disappoint many people’s illusions, and that’s just the way life is.

But for me there’s this thing about disappointing others that really hurts. It’s when I meet great people, create a connection and actually create expectations about something, believing what I am saying, and then I crash and burn. People are suddenly confronted with the paradox of that nice person that they just met having suddenly disappeared from the map, leaving behind a trail of discomfort and inconvenience which could have easily been avoided and that often I am even conscious of, but just couldn’t avoid.

There is absolutely no need of specifying what I may be talking about in particular, namely because it’s already happened so many times, actually I even manage to still disappoint my family again and again and after all these years they still believe me somewhat, which is amazing. In personal matters as in professional matters, I only step forward in what I believe. But a problem is that I often get overly enthusiastic with opportunities that even if they really have a lot of worth and potential, I do not have the structure to seize them, so I end up providing negative value, which is terrible.

I know for a fact these days that all this stems from my oddly-wired brain, that repeatedly allows me to believe that everything is possible in this very instant. But there is a certain feeling of guilt even if I know why this happens, because I know that I still have in me what it takes to find a definitive solution. Beyond the guilt there is also a sadness because I really wanted to see whatever opportunity come through, and this is yet one more reason to find a solution.

The phenomenon is totally recurring, and I’ve fooled myself for too many times into believing I can handle it alone, which happens because I lack executive function in the brain (true story). So to round it up, I must strongly focus on finding, at the very least, an executive assistant, to cover my executive dysfunction. Then things will be okay.

Esta publicação também está disponível em: Portuguese (Portugal)